Mothering Daughters
I am hotly aggravated right now. I hoped and prayed for healthy daughters. Me being a girl, I figured I'd mother girls better than I'd mother boys. I don't know why - I just saw myself mothering girls instead of boys. Now, in my many years of teaching and mothering, I have realized that there are some similarities and differences between boys and girls, but if I had been blessed with a boy, I am sure I would have done an absolutely wonderful job mothering him.
I have been following the news and I am shocked and appalled that yet another young woman has been found murdered with her unborn child. And the accused murderer is the father of her two children. Now, what is a mother supposed to do? I have tried to raise these girls right. At least right in our family. You know, we'd prefer it if you'd go to college, find a great career, backpack across Europe, find a great man and have lovely children. Do some good in the world. Make a difference. Try not to get involved with a man who is already married and has two or three other children by two or three different women. Oh yeah, and has a history of domestic violence. I don't care how happy he makes you. I got out of a relationship like that when I was in college. Getting slapped around doesn't make for a good time. I hope he rots.
However, how am I supposed to let them go? I didn't realize how hard this was going to be. I guess I will have to go to college with PrepGirl. LawyerBoy's brother had a friend at Harvard whose mother came with her. Kind of awkward - they left Dad and Little Sister here in the Deep South while Mother and Elder Sister went on to Harvard. She stayed for four years. Mom just hung around to make sure everything was all right. Back then, it seemed a little stifling for Elder Sister. Right now, I am thinking about what a great idea that was.
How on earth did my parents let me go 800 miles away from home? Were they on crack?
posted by teachergirl at 8:54 PM
3 Comments:
oh my god. (my actual, unedited response was, "Motherf**ker.") I need to go check CNN, be right back...
I have been following that story, knowing, KNOWING, she was dead and of course, OF COURSE, it was the father of the child. North Canton is only two hours from Pgh, and it's the second big case like this one in that area in the past few years.
Oh God, that poor girl. That poor baby, and the little boy left behind. I am sick.
You've brought your girls up to be strong and not make those kinds of mistakes. And it's not like they'll meet someone and immediately be battered to death. You'd know it was going on before things got that bad and you'd talk to her. I doubt this poor woman had much support. It's usually women who have been beaten growing up who find themselves in those sorts of relationships. Not that it's always the case, but most of the time.
Most of these cases involve 'boyfriends' and poor choices.
In this particular case, her boyfriend was married. So the relationship was inappropriate to begin with. There was no chance for a health relationship with a commitment.
Why do women put themselves in this position? Why would they endanger their children?
Women must learn to make better choices, respect themselves, put a high value on themselves, recognize red flags, and protect themselves and their children.
And if one finds herself in a bad situation, there are people around to help. Find the strength to simply, walk out! One's life and well-being is worth more than anything else.It is far better to have no relationship than an unhealthy one.
This is so tragic,especially considering the unborn child, but quite honestly, this was preventable from the get-go.
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