Oh My Holy Hell, Part 3 (and maybe I'll stop)

.... this just in:

I got an e-mail from the cheermom (OMG, the cheermom) and this is what part of it says:

Wednesday August 6- 3:30 pm Cheer Perfomance for Parents
4:00 pm MANDATORY PARENT MEETING

Thursday August 7 and Friday August 8- Cheer Practice 9:00-12:00.

The parent meeting is very important, and we really need everyone in attendance. At this meeting, we will go over the cheer budget for the season, and there will be lots of opportunities to volunteer . The Varsity cheerleaders, football players, and their families are invited to an after party after all home football games and including the Westminster game. This party is held at school and the cost of the main meal is included in our cheer budget. The players and cheerleaders are usually starving, so it is a great way to feed them and celebrate those victories! Each of us will sign up to help host one after party, and the football parent in charge, will call you with what you need to bring.

There will also be a sign up sheet for the Cheerleader Pre-Game dinners for home games and the Westminster game. Senior Parents get first choice, must live close to Lovett, and have one other mom help them with the dinner.

Every Friday morning during football season, all the football player Moms and Cheerleader Moms meet for breakfast at OK Cafe at 8 am. This breakfast is a long standing football tradition and a great way for the moms to visit and get to know each other. Each person is respondsible for their own meal.

There will be lots of other things we will go over at the meeting, but these were some of the highlights.IMPORTANT!!OK, last but not least... The cheer budget is ready and I have attached a copy to this email. Coach McCarter and I tried to think ahead and plan for everything up front so you would only have to write one check for the season. For the returning Varsity girls, the big difference in this years budget vs last year, is that we have added the cost of the End of Season Cheer Video and the cost of snacks for the away games to our beginning budget, rather than collecting for them during the season. I cannot promise that something else may not come along, but I think we have most of it covered. Basically, the Seniors owe $255 and the Juniors owe $245. I have opened a seperate bank account for our expenses, so please make your checks out to me. You can mail the checks to me directly at:

(teachergirl needs another job - send funds immediately - because I can guarantee that this is the tip of the iceberg; uniforms, jackets, shoes, socks, sportsbras....)

I nearly fell out of my chair when I started reading this missive. Apparently, I tried out for a squad that I don't want to be part of. I'm going to get to host parties before and after football games? With stinky football players and cheerleaders. I can't wait!! And Friday breakfasts with football and cheerleader moms. So we can get to know each other.

Let me check my calendar. Nope. It's not 1957 and I'll be calling roll about 8:00 AM on Fridays. (Don't comment about comma usage and grammar - I just cut and pasted.)

I find it extraordinary that in today's world, we still have people who go to garden club and do lunch. And fill their days with stuff like this. With the world collapsing around us, I am amazed. I am sure that these parents are fulfilled by engaging in these activites, but I have volunteered to teach 10 year olds how to function in the world without their parents. Part of my fulfillment is a meager paycheck and health benefits, but I also do it to make certain that two young women in this house realize that self-sufficiency is an option. While I had the opportunity to stay home with them while they were little, I wasn't the garden club girl - I needed to have something to fall back on because I realized that these little girls were going to grow up and the void that they were going to leave is immeasurable. And I like what I do, most days - because every 180 days, we get to start over with a whole set of new employees. Perspective, people. Perspective.