Can I Get an Amen?

Summer school is over for another year - I hope everyone of those babies passed that test this morning. However, one of them tried to bubble in the math answers in the reading section.

Do you see what I've been working with these past few weeks?

I'm heading to Charleston and D.C. for the Fourth!! Can't wait. I hear I've got a great spot to view the fireworks this year.

Let's Talk About Jon and Kate Because Everyone Else Is Today

If you had watched as much J&K+8 as I have (it's like a train wreck; you can't turn away), you'd realize that they never seemed much like a married couple. They were always talking about doing everything for the kids. It was always "for the kids." Look, I'm all for taking care of my kids, but one of these day, my kids are going away - sooner than I realize - and I'm going to be here with that guy I promised to love, honor and cherish, until death do us part. Kate was always (ALWAYS) the person in charge of that so called family - it was basically her way or the highway. She always had to be in control, loudly, and if she couldn't do it, she had to tell you how to do it. There was never any semblance of compromise or compassion. She hit him, yelled at him, and basically emasculated him in front a worldwide audience.

If I spoke to my husband as ungraciously as she spoke to hers, I guarantee, I would have been out on my behind in about fifteen minutes.

And then she got greedy. I remember when they went to their friends' home - the one with the big house and all that property. And I saw the glint in Kate's eyes. All of a sudden, goodies started coming their way. And she couldn't say no. Trips, a million dollar estate, custom-built playhouses, kids in t-shirts with their sponsors names emblazoned on the fronts, Emeril cooking for them. Really? Really.

And let's be honest, none of those kids is really adorable. They have become entitled brats. Who whine. Like their mother. Who must be the only role model they have. Think back to the last birthday party. Friends? Other mothers? Not so many, really.

Now granted, Jon is no saint. But let's think about this for a minute. He never really was the man of the house - as outspoken as I am, I like to think that LB is the man of the family and we are a team. He takes care of me and I take care of him. Did you see any of that with those two? Uh, no.

Now, I am sure to get comments re: I really didn't know the entire story. Maybe, maybe not. But I sure did get invited to know a whole lot. At the expense of their entire life.


So, while Jon looks like an idiot with the pierced ears and the Converse sneakers, and Kate cries the big crocodile tears and says that she really doesn't want to do this all alone (sure seemed like you wanted to the past five years) I can understand his excitement: he's getting away from the shrew and gets to live in the big house without her for a while on a whole new TLC series: Jon Minus Kate Divided By Eight: Divorce Wars/Visitation Rights.

Notes From Friday

• Three more days of summer school and then the Super Big State Test. We had to bubble the answer documents ourselves, thankyouverymuch. What, you morons at the school board, who took 2% of my pay, didn't realize who failed the test in April and didn't run the labels? So, I had to bubble Social Security numbers and names and grades and birthdates and all that ridiculous information for 15 fifth graders that you don't trust to do themselves? Do you realize that one day, they are going to have to bubble this same information on a standardized test themselves? The all important SAT that you believe everyone in the county MUST take in order to make yourselves look good - they do all the bubbling. Did you know that? Just saying..
• Went to the midnight screening of The Proposal last night with three teenagers. I think it was funny - I remember laughing, but I was exhausted. It has been a while since I stayed out that late and went to bed at 3AM. I'm still tired.
• Nestle has recalled all its cookie dough. And, of course, I bought some two days ago and have just been waiting to dive into it. If I hadn't had the news on this evening, I would be chomping on some e coli infested chocolate chip cookie dough. And just last summer, it was tomatoes. At least I can make my own cookie dough. I really couldn't do anything about the tomatoes until my father in law's tomatoes came in. And that drove me nuts.

Notes From Tuesday

• Iranian Revolution: hell, yes. And we're getting our news from Twitter and Facebook. Can you imagine Tom Jefferson and John Adams with technology?
• One of my summer school kids came today and was lethargic - leaning all over the desk and acting all tired. The problem? She was at a party and didn't get to bed until 1AM. So, you want me to babysit your sleepy kid that you've kept out until all hours of the night and that super big state test coming up in a few days is completely meaningless to you? Really?
• I went to the gym on my way home from summer school and my gym pass was tangled up in my car keys and earbuds and the old guy at the desk asked, "Are you loose?" and then he got all tongue-tied. "I didn't mean it like that," he said. I hope not.

Remember When I Said ...

I wasn't going to ever, ever teach summer school again? And then I signed up, but only to teach math because who, in his right mind, teaches reading to 5th graders?

Face it, in this economy, 82 hours at my hourly rate makes a difference. So, I am teaching summer school math and my class is made up of those kids who missed passing by 2 - 3 points. So, for the most part, they are vested in this.

However, my best story so far comes from down the hall from a friend teaching 3rd grade reading. She has a young man in her class who did not pass the super big state test and is here for reading instruction. She sat him down one day last week for some guided reading and asked him to read the first sentence and he told her he couldn't read. (For those interested, the word he got stuck on was the.) He told my friend, "Hers gots the markers." Holy English nightmare, Batman!!


He got suspended today for having a knife in his shoe. (?) I don't know how or why or what. I'm just reporting the facts.

However, we found out today a fact that might explain some of this - his father is his uncle.

Cue the banjoes.

In Which I Totally Blow My Cover

Late last week, the school board had a hearing for public comments concerning the change in teacher pay, i.e. strip the teachers, bus drivers and school nurses of their pittance and let the central office employees have raises.

After hearing that the Vice Chair said that "the teachers were okay with it," I thought it might be necessary to make an appearance at the THIRTY minutes they were allotting us to be heard. My compatriots and I got there an hour before the hearing started because parents were also slated to speak concerning a change in report cards.

I had told LawyerBoy that I was merely going to lend my support at this function and I promised not to get arrested. He did, however, stay at his office late because it is close to the jail that we would all be hauled to if things got out of hand.

No one had signed up to speak for the teachers when we had arrived, so I threw caution to the wind and signed up to speak on behalf of the teachers. I had time to prepare - although I was sitting in the midst of a maelstrom - and my words were succinct, thoughtful and not one bit disrespectful. When it was my turn, I did a great job. The teachers I was with said that at one point there were other people shouting, "Amen, sister!" and clapping and cheering. I was, however, trying to read my own writing and trying not to faint. I finished before my two minutes were up and sat down. Now, by the time the meeting got started, guidance counselors, school nurses, bus drivers and school teachers had signed up. But we only got two minutes apiece.

Oh.... did I mention the TV news crews and newspaper reporters who were present? Didn't think so.

Oh, and did I mention that there wasn't any air conditioning in the boardroom? I think they wanted to sweat us out.

When I got home, the news mentioned that the teachers had met, but that was it. I was pretty happy. Didn't have to mention anything to LB - lots of teachers were there, lots of teachers spoke and lots of teachers were unhappy.

Friday afternoon, I turned on the news. Apparently, they were saving the teacher story for the weekend. And there I was; thankfully, I didn't have my name scrolling under my face as I was speaking, but you couldn't miss me. Even the girl who does my hair called. However, LB didn't see and I didn't mention it to him. He was on a need to know basis and he didn't need to know.

Saturday morning. I checked Facebook. And I believe the words from a fellow teacher I read were: "Hey girl, you're all over the front page of the paper. You rock."

Oh my holy hell. I was paragraphs 2 - 6, above the fold, in a front page story about the teachers and how they felt betrayed over the superintendent's secret raise.

LawyerBoy is now all clued in on my Thursday night antics. I believe he wanted to protect me from being an idiot in front of the Board; he said that what I said was absolutely appropriate and I had nothing to fear. And if anyone did have an issue with what I said needed to remember that he was conversant in civil and constitutional law.

Whew.

He also went out on Saturday afternoon, leaving me alone in the house, and asked if he'd be reading about what I did in Sunday's paper.

Ha. Ha.