Bob Marley Is Alive and Well

and he arrived in my fifth grade classroom today. Apparently, he didn't do too well in fourth grade, however, and he arrived, ready to party, mon.

WTH? The newest addition was caught a little off guard today, as he swaggered into the best little fifth grade in my school. I sat him down next to the smartest, sweetest, best behaved kid in class and just let reality hit him square in the face. My kids have assignments due on Friday and I just let that tidbit hit Rastaman, too. You have to get up to speed, my friend. Your vacation was a little longer than ours and if you aren't able to tell me where you've been, you really do need to spend some extra time on some homework. Please.

New Student Update

I lost the student who came to me during the middle of testing; she left Friday.

And guess what? I got a new student today. Uh huh. TODAY. One more Monday left and I get a new one. He's a great student, I was assured, but let me assure you that no one is a great student nine days before school is over. Because, really, I am trying to involve them in meaningful work, but they aren't cooperating. Would you?

My principal told me that the results for those who failed the Big Test would be available on Friday. Well, yippie dippie. No wonder I haven't been sleeping. We're having a big teacher party on Friday - margarita city, here I come. I hope LawyerBoy is coming, because he's going to be a-driving.

Beautiful May

Welcome, blessed May!! Only 19 more days until this year is over and we get some respite from this year. Writing test results came back yesterday and there were DNM results from people I am surprised by. Oh well; as we were told, the scores will be what they will be.

Leadership Retreat is all day today. That means shorts and a substitute for me.

I got a new student YESTERDAY but he is wonderful!!!! I wish he had been with me all year. I am supposed to get a new one TODAY. Remember, 19 days to go.

Super Serious Testing

It never ceases to amaze me that super serious testing isn't taken all that seriously by those being tested. The ones who are super seriously tested are the teachers - and bored beyond earthly comprehension. After all, with the crazy pressure being put on us, we do everything except invoke the Almighty before the gateway tests our students must pass in order to get to the sixth grade.

We are required to count and recount and put the test booklets and answer documents and examiner's manual in a double secret whammy position so that our Assistant Principal doesn't hyperventilate and cause us to stand at her "Table of Shame" while she recounts and matches answer documents to her satisfaction.

Bored doesn't even begin to describe how I've been in that silent room, listening to the tick, tick, tick of my timer, making sure my wall clock matches the time to the second. I have walked circles around the room, making sure those kids are on the right page, on the right question. I have diligently ignored looking at the test questions - why put yourself through that agony? One year, I watched a girl answer questions about the Civil War like she had never heard of the event. She said that Frederick Douglass was a Confederate General. It was all I could do to walk away without hitting her on the back of the head. I swore that I would try to never look at the questions again.

So, tomorrow, we have one more test and then it is finally over. It will be more over for some than others. I heard about the kid who fell asleep on question 27 today. Her teacher had to shake her awake and inform her that the test was still on.

I remember when BrownBear was in 3rd grade - she fainted during the Science test. Her teacher said she looked up and BB had slid onto the floor. I walked by the clinic and there she was; all pale and clammy. That's how I know that these tests are a little too serious for some.

I just want a quarter of that seriousness out of my students this year.

And guess what? I got a new student Wednesday. And we handed her a number 2 pencil and told her good luck and make sure you pass this Math test, because here in the New South, we test you no matter what, and you'll be held back if you don't pass, even if you've never been in this class a day in your academic life.

Welcome South, Brother!

Is Stadium Seating An Option?

Fridays are usually fabulous. But, guess what? ANOTHER new student. Probably a perfectly fine one, but another new one, none the less. We were supposed to be finished with performance series testing and she walked in the door as my last student was finishing up. And right about then, the AP comes over the intercom and asks if the 5th grade is finished with testing. Was she there in the front office? Didn't she see this new fifth grader registering? Uh, NO. The fifth grade just got another fifth grader. See her? About thirty seconds ago, you were probably looking at her.

I'm going to Home Depot today to buy some lumber. I think I'm buying some 2 x 4s so I can build me some stadium seating in my trailer. I got three last week; who knows what next week will bring.

The Great Migration

I haven't checked recently, but I believe that I must have a revolving door on the front of my classroom. I just found out during lunch today that I am getting another new student. What is going on? Is there some sort of mass migration I am unaware of? Will we look back on this period of history and name it? What is the deal? I got a new student two days ago; it was a student I lost before Christmas. She had gone to live with her dad. Now she's back. Guess who's running the show at her house? And since we spent all last week doing Performance Series Testing, guess who's got to figure out how to fit in the testing of these two new girls? And it's just Tuesday.

At least tomorrow is payday.