Just a Few Words...

First, I hate Halloween. Give me a calm holiday like Thanksgiving. All carbs and no guilt.

Second, no one can locate Prep's prescription. So, it is going to cost me $66 for 22 Zyrtec because the insurance company says it is too early to refill the prescription.

Third, I'll be on my way to St. Louis for LawyerBoy's grandfather's 100th birthday. I'm already tired, just thinking about it.

I Need a Wife

Yesterday, after spending $397.00 at the pediatric dentist and $4 on parking, I went to refill PrepGirl's allergy prescription (Zyrtec) to the tune of $50. Instead of waiting, I told them I would pick it up later. After dinner, I sent Prep and LawyerBoy and BrownBear to the pharmacy. Between CVS, the Movie Gallery and home, they lost it. WTH? They can't find it at the CVS. I haven't called the Movie Gallery because the children assured me they didn't take it in the Movie Gallery. They didn't bring it in the house. Now where in the world could it be? I thought that between the three of them, they could get this one little bag home. Was I wrong or what?

Too Good to Last

While my girls are having a little Fall Break, I decided to take them to the dentist and have a day of fall break myself. Today was delightful, as it decided to rain. Little drops from heaven.

Missing school can be a lot of work, but if done correctly, it is a beautiful thing.

However, it was report card day and the e-mails are starting.

Like this one:

I received X's report card this evening. I was not at all happy with the grade of "D" for reading. I will be at school on Wednesday morning at 7:00. I request a conference to discuss this grade. I would like to see your documentations showing a "D" average. I stated to you on September 19th, according to the Elementary School Handbook, page 16, that AR is not to be used in determining a nine weeks grade. If this is the case, that AR was used in calculating my daughter's grade, you are in violation of policy. I look forward to speaking to you in person.

I was not at all happy that X received a D in reading, either, but X didn't seem to care. She is too busy socializing. And her daddy, who has penned this lovely e-mail, is an embarrassed assistant principal who enjoys threatening the people under him. Oh, and by the way, asshole, I didn't have to use AR to calculate that miserable grade your daughter received.

So let me give you some advice: you and your ex-wife (now I understand) need to get a grasp on raising your daughter, giving her some support, and setting some boundaries. I like having her in my class, but I don't like you.

And don't threaten me. I don't like it - and I'm married to LawyerBoy.

I've Been Busy

I finally made it to the weekend. This was a killer week. After the crazy start to the weekend, we ditched church (oh, how heathenous we were) and made the annual family trip to the mountains and the pumpkin patch. It was glorious. The girls were happy and they had a great time.

An amazing number of heathens joined us up in the mountains, though. The pumpkin patch was packed and the climb up the mountain was congested.

Instead of eating at the top of the mountain, LawyerBoy found another place in a nearby city. He said that this little cafe has become popular because of the food and the music; sometimes, George Clooney and Elton John and Julia Roberts show up. I must sadly inform you that there were a ton of people on the square, but I couldn't find any of those folks.

This week, the fifth grade had their PTA performance, so our week was sucked dry of instructional time. Throw in youth group on Wednesday, teacher rounds Tuesday, JV football game on Thursday at almost exactly the same time of the performance and the girls left for a retreat on Friday afternoon. So, LawyerBoy and I have an entire weekend alone. It is almost funny - we don't know what to do with ourselves.

Just Another Manic Weekend

Last night was Homecoming, so I got to spend hours sitting on a hard, cold concrete bleacher, cheering on our Lions to an overwhelming victory. I think I was sitting next to a former attorney general's grandson, but more importantly, I think I was sitting in front of PrepGirl's date to the Winter Formal.

The Big Dance is Sadie Hawkins style - and PrepGirl apparently waited too late to ask the guy she had originally planned to ask. It seems that the young men here at our illustrious prep school always say yes if asked to the big dance; don't want to hurt the feelings of our young ladies. PrepGirl was bummed and she has walked around here for months (it seems) weighing her options. Finally, she made a choice - tall, Junior, Varsity basketball player. She told me I would be able to pick him out last night because he would be the hottest guy in the stadium.

"How could that be?" I asked. "I'll be there with LawyerBoy. He'll be he hottest guy in the stadium." Prep and BrownBear both gagged a little. I love it when I can do that.

Choir sang a memorial service this morning. I didn't know the deceased personally, but he is the father of PrepGirl's and BrownBear's choir director. Trying to raise them right, I dragged them out of their cozy beds and made them go. You can't be a southern girl and not go to the funeral. All that was missing was fried chicken and a little ham.

It was a lovely service, but if people cry in front of me, I am going to join right in. Doesn't matter why, I am sucked into the vortex. So, I spent a great deal of time trying not to look at the congregation or paying attention to the crying so I could sing. Doesn't make much sense, but if I had gotten started, there wouldn't have been any point in me being there.

So, the rest of my day has been backwards. After lunch, we came home and put on our pajamas and we've been lazy ever since.

Does Time Ever Stop Marching?

We had a baby shower for BrownBear's first grade teacher today and BrownBear made it in time to see her and grab a slice of cake. FirstgradeTeachergirl was positively radiant - all baby glowy - but she was absolutely delighted to see BrownBear. BrownBear is just like her - lefthanded, rule follower, athletic and smart - and FirstgradeTeachergirl made sure that BrownBear reached her potential. FirstgradeTeachergirl has been our Teacher of the Year for a good reason; she is an awesome teacher.

Silly me, I didn't have my digital camera to snap the picture of FirstgradeTeachergirl reaching up to show that BrownBear is now as tall as she is. Seriously, when did all this growing up happen?

Just Another Day in Paradise

I taught like I was a crazy woman today. Writing, math, reading...social studies where I was observed by a dear soul who wants to be a full time teacher... and I even got individualized attention for the kids who need it.

Bob Marley came today with his hair strung up like it was in a mohawk. I swear. I can't make this stuff up, people.

Came home and helped with 6th grade math and science. Tenth grade work is under control. But I did listen to all the music practice going on and watched some gymnastics here in the living room. Tossed in a little more laundry before the state tells me that won't be allowed anymore and am getting ready to run the dishwasher (for the same reason). It's only Monday and my weekend is already booked - it is homecoming Friday and Prep is cheering; I'm singing at a funeral Saturday and we have to find something for all these girls to wear to their great-grandfather's 100th birthday. Oh yeah, y'all didn't know about this, now did you? Granddad is hitting triple digits soon, and we're taking this show all the way to Missouri. All of my inlaws are going to be present. I'm just happy I'm not the star of this show. I don't think people will know if I'm there or not (wrong: this is a command performance. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if we've purchased airline tickets), and, to be honest, I wouldn't miss this for many, many reasons. The best one of all: the nine minute power point presentation with 96 pictures of Granddad's life. My only question was why aren't there 100 pictures?

One More Thing

I am busy watching Ken Burns' The War and I have always wanted to be one of those people who are mentioned at the end. You know the drill: "Brought to you in part by the Elizabeth Hathaway Morgan Foundation." Just to have the kind of money to need that kind of tax write-off.

Saturday Night Follies

Don't let anyone tell you girls and their P.E. uniforms are any better than boys and theirs. Now, I don't have a son, but I did have a football playing brother. I remember the smell. I hadn't smelled that smell for quite some time; not until I undid BrownBear's PE uniforms to throw in the washer. Good golly - what's going on in that gym? I found a mildewed swimsuit and all her gymclothes wrapped around it. Has she been playing in those nasty clothes?

Could my Saturday nights be any more exciting?

First Thursday in October

Titles getting lame? About as lame as I feel.





Got some batteries for the camera. Too bad they aren't in the camera yet.





One more day of testing and then we get back to the education of America's youth. Would you believe that I've been in my pajamas since I got home from school? I picked up my cheerleader after the away game in them. (All right, all right. It was dark, people.) I need a weekend.

The First Tuesday in October

• My mantel couldn't be cuter if it tried. No, there are no body parts coming out of it, but it is adorable, nonetheless. If my digital camera had some batteries, I'd show you.
• Please stop complaining about your rainy days and tropical storms. We would pay for some rain to fall out of the sky. We are sitting on a total outdoor water ban. I'm waiting for the indoor water ban to go into effect.
• I am tired of school. I think it has to do with this stupid testing. I'm not doing anything except keeping kids awake and I'm as bored as they are.
• The spelling part of the test was today. It was all I could do not to hit them in the backs of their heads as they didn't mark the incorrectly spelled words. I mean does larjer look right to you?
• It's only Tuesday. I'm making beef stew on Saturday - Tyler Florence or the Barefoot Contessa - they both look pretty good to me.

First Monday in October

• Supreme Court is back in session. Best job in the Federal Government.
• My neighborhood is already in Halloween mode: fake graveyards and skeletons crawling out of the ground are already popping up all over the place. I don't mind a scarecrow or two, but for heaven's sake people, this isn't Satan Estates. This crap gives me the creeps. And I have a whole month of it to look forward to. Yippee.
• Bob Marley and his new best friend, Bobbette (I kid you not, she did her hair just like his) , faked their way through the reading section of the Iowa Test of Basic Skills and then tried to sleep. NOT ON MY WATCH!!! I was shaking kids awake and making them go over it in the remaining time. Sleeping during a standardized test. Puhleeze.