Such an Amazing Day

Dudes. Read Across America Day.

We read. And read and read. Then we had people read to us. One very impressive reader, too. A Major General from the Third Army. (Patton's Army, for you history novices. I very nearly cried, I was so happy.) If the pictures turn out, I will try to post for you. But a happy day for my reading kids. It's not very often you just get to pick out the books you will read and then read them.

We had a blast.

Snarky, Snark, Snark

Did Daniel Day-Lewis go to the Oscars as Captain Jack Sparrow? And.....

What the hell was this?

Please. Don't hate me because I'm an angry American. Please don't hate me because I don't get haute couture. If I thought a billion people were going to be watching me win an award, I might have given it some thought. You know, like Helen Mirren or Grace Kelly.

Just call me old-fashioned. A classic. A commercial for Ann Taylor and Talbots and my wedding pearls.

A Note About Today

• "How Lovely Is Thy Dwelling Place" was our anthem. Not an easy piece; I think I sang it in college along with Elijah and other things I don't remember. The best compliment I heard was that we didn't sound like a church choir.
• Now that BrownBear is 12, she had a complete teenage meltdown this morning - over what to wear.
• When Prep found out that Angelina was pregnant, she actually said, "Eeew. They aren't even married." Me, too. I have NEVER been a fan of those two. I don't see the attraction - to her, to Brad, to the tattooing and to the whole "we're adopting the whole world, aren't we great" mentality. Please. They are too condescending for me. You want to re-build New Orleans, do it the way Harry Connick, Jr., is doing it. You want a job -- come visit me and do what I do for a while. Or better yet, pay me your salary for what I do. Then we'll talk.
• Perhaps I'm in a lather because I get to go to the cheerleading banquet tonight. Whee!!!
• No, I think it is because I just don't like the whole Brangelina thing. I was always more on Jen's side; you know, the one who said for better, for worse?
• Maybe BrownBear's mood has soured me; I've got to go sit through a cheerleading banquet?

There's/Theirs/They'res No Place Like a Good English Quiz

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

After the current brouhaha in Cupcake's classroom, I had to take this quiz I found at Angie's webside. And all is right with the world - at least in my world.

Just Another Way I Know I am Nuts

A slumber party? With five twelve year olds? How far upstairs can I get? Only time will tell. Oh yes. With the best birthday present in the world. An air hockey table. With sound. One that my daughter (and husband) have coveted forever.

Could I Be Any Weirder? I Am a Dash

Thanks, Cupcake, for the new quiz.

You Are a Dash

Your life is fast paced and varied. You are realistic, down to earth, and very honest. You're often busy doing something interesting, and what you do changes quickly. You have many facets to your personality, and you connect them together well. You have a ton of interests. While some of them are a bit offbeat, they all tie together well. You friends rely on you to bring novelty and excitement to their lives. (And while you're the most interesting person they know, they can't help feeling like they don't know you well.) You excel in: Anything to do with money You get along best with: the Exclamation Point

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Cheaper by the Dozen?

Happy Birthday, BrownBear!! I can't believe it has been twelve whole years. I can't believe you're the baby, either. It has gone by way too quickly. Love and kisses.

Music to My Ears

Yesterday, Prep got the good news. "You're hired!!" PoolGuy called and hired her on the spot to guard at the pool this summer.

Hallelujah.

She wanted to know if there would be taxes.

I laughed. If this doesn't jade her, nothing will.

What Did Y'all Expect?

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% Dixie 30% General American English 10% Upper Midwestern 10% Yankee 5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Her First Protest March

Dudes. BrownBear came home today and said her Social Studies class marched on the Head Master's office.

I baked her cookies.

You see, I am a hippie at heart. I could have been, anyway.

Her Social Studies teacher has been fighting the administration over school on President's Day, so today, they took five minutes out of their schedule, made signs and marched. She said they were peaceful and when the HeadMaster looked up from his desk as he was taking a phone call, he smiled and waved.

Sweet. They got his attention.

War Heroes

These two men were shot down in wars as Navy pilots while they were fighting for our country. One was dragged out of the Pacific Ocean by an American submarine; the other was tortured in a prisoner of war camp for over five years. My question is this: do you think there is ever a moment in their lives that they do not think about it? Seriously, stupid stuff happens to me and I think about it all the time.

Discuss among yourselves.

President's Day. Thank You, Gentlemen.

Prep and BrownBear are in a lather. You see, they sauntered off to school as I waved good-bye to them as I stood in the doorway in my pajamas. Apparently, their politically correct private school took MLK Day, but chose to blow off the Presidents. Now, while I am often loathe to stir the pot, I am interested. When did one person become more important than the 43 people who have led this country for the past 200+ years? When I was growing up (here it comes), we celebrated Lincoln's Birthday (log cabin milk cartons) and then a scant two weeks later, we celebrated the hell out of George Washington's birthday. Growing up in Washington's hometown, we had to biggest parade; we ate cherry pie. We wore tri-cornered hats. Granted, I was living through the Civil Rights Movement, but I never thought I would send my daughters to a school that would blow off President's Day. Blow it right off.

So, dear internettters, discuss. As you do, some pictures of some of my all time favorite presidents.

And an anecdote of a favorite school project I make all my classes do: Something I stole called Presidential China. Everyone picks a number between 1 - 43. That is your president. You research that president and get yourself a color picture of him. Creatively put all your information on a white paper plate and decorate it. Hence, you have "Presidential China."

Last year, we did this little project, and one of my geniuses said, "I didn't know they had presidents in China." That is why I continue to make them do this project, year after year. Because they don't have presidents in China, Precious.

Convictions Tend to Get you Killed. Sounds About Right

Which Saint Are You?

You are Joan of Arc! You don't really want to hurt anyone, but if they attack your friends or your country and no-one else will stand up to fight them, you head into the battle. Beware though, conviction tends to get you killed.
Take this quiz!








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My Valentine's Day Present Was..

LawyerBoy saying that he would always come to my rescue if I ever needed him. Pretty awesome, considering CrazyMama dragged her husband to school today to tell my principal that Precious thought I didn't like him, oh and by the way, I also told him he was a stupid idiot.

After I jerked my head back into socket, I had to stop myself from laughing. Because I am nothing, if not sarcastic, but do I really look like I am that stupid? To jeopardize a career that I really find pretty exciting, pretty stimulating, and really like because of the insurance?

No, Cupcake, I did not bitch slap her into next week, but I did let her have it. For being stupid enough herself to believe that I would tell anybody, but especially a ten year old that I have IN MY CLASSROOM, that he was a stupid idiot. When I got finished, CrazyDaddy even said that he thought Precious' assertion was a little over the top. I don't know what's going on at their house, but why in the hell did you let CrazyMama drag you up to my school and talk trash? Damn, people, my principal had to look away for a minute; this CrazyMama has lost touch with reality. I know she's a little stressed trying to get Precious into private school next year, but do you really piss off the people who write your recommendations?

Symphony Day

Dudes. Symphony day. On a yellow school bus. With the temperature dropping minute by minute.

After it was all said and done, it really wasn't that bad. Most of the children put on their best clothes and found their best manners. I was proud of them. But, of course, when we got back, they were wired for sound. (Ha!!) And if I had been on my game, I would have packed a DVD in my school bag and sat them around the LCD projector for a little movie time - because with the wind whipping and the tiny snow flakes flying from the sky, we weren't going outside for love nor money. So, we worked on pronouns. (I am an ogre, okay?)

Oh, and this. My principal got this e-mail from a parent a few days ago. One of my flipping room mothers, for crying out loud.

"My husband and I would like to set up a meeting with you this week to discuss some concerns we have with my little darling in the classroom. He has related a few comments made by Mrs. Teachergirl that are of some concern to us. I had an initial meeting with Mrs. Teachergirl back in early December to discuss and things appeared to have improved temporarily, however, he has mentioned a couple of issues the last couple of weeks that has us concerned. "
The principal's only question was what's going on.

My question, too. Because since December, we have had what is called CONFERENCE WEEK. We discussed this little darling's behavior in detail. We discussed the fact that all his other teachers are having issues with him. Oh yeah, and since then, I have written private school applications for him since then.

What chaps my behind is the fact that she went behind my back and climbed over my head to get to my principal to bitch and moan about me. What is she talking about? Could be anything. Precious didn't get recess on Friday because he hadn't turned in a Social Studies project and tried to turn in some half-assed piece of crap he threw together. Did I tell him he wasn't going to get away with that? Yes, yes I did. Was I frustrated with him (and several of his classmates who tried to pull the same crap?) You bet I was.

His excuse/defense? "I turned it into the substitute." My reply? "Boys and girls? Do we ever turn in anything to a substitute?" And like a choir, they all said, "No. Substitutes lose things."

But, you see, I have no idea what she is talking about, because her e-mail is vague. Her son is immature and almost ADD. Can't stay seated, has trouble focussing, can't get his rear-end in the chair (and believe me, I let the guys who can't stay seated stand by their desks - if it helps them focus, then it helps me teach), but Precious loops his feet across the top of his chair and tries to kneel in his chair. But I am somehow at fault. Lovely.

(My principal, though, said it sounds like Precious is having a bout of fifth-grade-itis. God love her. )

The Blog in which I Reveal That...

I am a complete mental case. After church and lunch, we settled in for a little afternoon nap. Or at least I did. Then I turned on the TV and stumbled on to the train wreck, "Jon and Kate Plus Eight." I cuddled up under my blanket in the bedroom and proceeded to watch three hours of this show. Maybe more; I don't know. All I do know is that I looked up and saw that it was getting dark outside.

What the hell is all I can say.

Uniforms are just getting laundered.

Dinner? We're calling that cereal tonight. Cereal they got for themselves. God bless them for being independent. Not independent enough to launder their own uniforms, but independent enough.

Wednesday, we take the fifth grade to the symphony. I dread this field trip. Trust me.

Funny Guy

I've loved Steve Martin since I was a bright-eyed puppy. I found a clip of him on the Johnny Carson show - do I miss him, or what?- and I couldn't believe the hilarity. Do yourself a favor and click on the link and watch Steve Martin at his hysterical best.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1213973118/bclid1213953670/bctid1389981693

Ash Wednesday?!

I just walked past the living room (okay, not much going on in there) and I saw the baby Jesus surrounded by the Holy Family, a few wise men, shepherds, sheep, donkey and a camel. Did a double take. How did I miss that? Everything else is safely tucked away for next Christmas - do you think I can somehow use the Nativity scene for Easter this year? Because, boys and girls, this year, it is sneaking right up on us. Seriously, it is a good thing the Easter Bunny has a fur coat. Because this year, he'll probably need it.

Forty Two

Because really, when it comes right down to it, could one have a Super Bowl ring and not the other?

Super Bowl Half-Time Shows

Last year (was it just last year?), we had to explain (yes, explain) Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones to PrepGirl and BrownBear. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers? Somebody explain them to me.

And the year of Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson? I just walk out of the room. I could hear LawyerBoy hooting all the way through the house. WTH? I thought. So, every year since, I have been planted in front of the SuperBowl half time show.

Just in case, don't ya know. But this - I didn't like this in college and I sure don't like it when I could be watching Zoey 101. Put the football game back on or show me some more Super Bowl commercials.

Teacher Laptops and the People Who Get to Use Them

First, I am no officially the recipient of PrepGirl's crappy cough and whatnot. My doctor, however, prescribed stuff to make me feel better. I think I was asleep last night - I might have been unconscious, though, and was hallucinating all night long.

LawyerBoy went somewhere and listened to some guy give a presentation and during his presentation, this guy was going to do a powerpoint. (Can you tell I was somewhat delirious when I was listening to this story?) LB said the presenter got up and had one of our county's teacher laptops to do said presentation. When it came time to do his powerpoint, the presenter couldn't log in to the computer. LawyerBoy said he sat there for a second and then said to the presenter, "Can I give it a try?" So the presenter said sure. Well, LawyerBoy jumpped up, typed in the original username and password that were assigned to every teacher in the county and just like magic, the computer booted up.

The presenter looked at LawyerBoy for a second and the first words out of his mouth were, "How do you know my wife?" Are you kidding me?